Abstinence is need not to say no.
I have been educated since I was young that smoking is bad and I shouldn't smoke. They didn't need to tell me how to say no when someone offer me a cigarette. In fact, nobody has offered me any cigarette. Why? ... Because people around me knows that I don't smoke. In addition, most people around me, or I let myself to be with when I have the say, don't smoke.
That is abstinence.
Another analogy. If a guy decided not to play basketball this month, what should he do? Does he need to brush up his skill of rejecting invitation to basketball games? Most likely, there is a reason why he makes the decision, or there must be many other things that he wants to spend his time on. Thus, he should be spending time in all these other things, which quite likely is not related to basketball, such as study, reading book, playing playstation, etc.
That is abstinence.
Abstinence is not for me to always hang around with people who smoke, or carrying a lighter, matchbox, or whatever other smoking peripherals with me whereever I go, or to be interested in discussion on the various brands of cigarette, etc.
Abstinence is not for that guy to carry a basketball, go out in basketball attire, to a basketball court, and keep telling everyone that he does not want to play basketball that month.
Thus, abstinence from extra-marital sex is not to say no, but is to have no need to answer such a question.
Have this decision/intention of not agreeable to extra-marital sex clearly display in your daily behaviors, attire, interests, and etc. Be with friends and people that clearly show similar intentions. Thus, people you meet will not need to ask you questions that you need to answer no.
This is abstinence.
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